Whether it's dealing with boyfriend or girlfriends, or it is holding a general meeting with 20 business people, conflicts can be destructive. What I have come to find out, is that most conflicts arise simply from misunderstanding.
Sometimes people feel like they are being attacked, when you are joking. Sometimes people feel like you are criticizing, when you are trying to help out. Sometimes people feel like you don't care, when they really do and aren't showing it.
These misunderstandings start to escalate because people become defensive. They start saying things to try and show dominance and that they are correct. It becomes destructive. It becomes wasted energy.
My advice: step outside yourself and into the other persons shoe. Try to understand, and not to prove.
Force yourself to really see WHY that person would be saying something. Do you have the same goals? Are you fighting for the same thing?
Think about whatever you are saying, and if it is not CONstructive, don't say it. Anything using sarcasm or language that puts yourself at a higher point than the other person, isn't constructive. Show respect by putting yourself at the same level, and you will gain it.
Resolving conflicts is definitely a two person thing. All you can do is your part. Say things that only try to resolve the problem, not make it bigger than it actually is. Step outside yourself, and into the other persons shoes. If you can honestly say you did all you could to try and resolve the problem and it's not resolved, then its the other party not wanting to understand.
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